


roll with the punches

by nanasekei



Series: Happy Steve Bingo Fills [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (...this is a fluff fic I swear), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bullying, Fluff, Homophobia, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Light Angst, M/M, Maria Stark's A+ Parenting, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, meeting as kids, mentioned ableism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 21:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16104530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanasekei/pseuds/nanasekei
Summary: Tony Stark first meets Steve Rogers in kindergarten.





	roll with the punches

**Author's Note:**

> For my "I never throw the first punch" square on the Happy Steve Bingo.

Tony Stark first meets Steve Rogers in kinder garden.

Tony is six-years-old, fluffy hair falling slightly on his eyes, hands busy with a rubik cube. Tony solves rubik cubes super fast, and sometimes Jarvis takes the time to set up a new one for him, to make it harder, but Tony always finds a way to make it easier again.

During recess, he usually plays with his toys. He can’t go into the sandbox, because it’ll mess up his clothes and Mom says he shouldn’t mess up his clothes.

(Mom also says he should avoid talking much to some of the other kids, to the kids that aren’t like him. Tony doesn’t know exactly what that means, but he tries to follow her advice. He mostly only talks to Ty, then, because Ty _is_ like him, smart and clever and wearing clothes he can’t mess up.)

He raises his head from the cube when Ty pokes him, pointing to a brown-haired kid. At first, Tony doesn’t get why, but Ty insists and points out the kid’s arm, and that’s when Tony realizes it’s not a regular arm, the artificial material shining evidently against the sunlight.

Ty tells him that’s Bucky Barnes, and he was born without an arm, so he got a new one, like a robot. Tony thinks it’s _awesome_ , but he doesn’t say anything. It turns out he’s the only one who might think that, because soon he hears some of the kids noticing, laughing, their voices growing as they approach the boy. Tony isn’t used to being laughed at, but he spends a lot of time at gala parties and important events of Dad’s job, so he knows what it’s like to be alone and small and surrounded by bigger people. He looks around, his stomach clenching. He wishes Jarvis were here.

There are kids all around them now, watching it, and among them Steve Rogers is like every other kid Tony has ever seen, small and scrawny with hands and knees dirty with sand.

Bucky seems nervous, trying to get away. Ty is babbling about what’s happening, hand still on his elbow. Tony fights the urge to cover his eyes with his hands.

And then Steve Rogers isn’t like any other kid Tony has ever seen, because he pushes his way to get in between Bucky and the others, and his hands are raised into fists, and suddenly there are people _over him_ and even Ty stops talking, and Bucky is yelling something, and Tony thinks his eyes are burning and he’s going to cry because he’s scared.

Then Ms. Karen arrives, and she stops the fight, and Tony is a bit glad that he isn’t the only one crying, Bucky is crying too, and Steve Rogers has a scraped knee and his chin is shaking but he doesn’t cry, because he isn’t like anyone Tony will ever meet.

* * *

 

Tony does not play with Steve Rogers. Steve is always at the sandbox, and Tony isn’t allowed to go into the sandbox, so they can’t play together.

Still, Tony watches him a lot. Steve makes a lot of stuff with the sand. Some are strange things Tony doesn’t understand, but others are really cool castles, and Tony wonders if Steve would like his knights. He’s got King Arthur and Lancelot and Merlin, but he’s also got Galahad and Percival, which he likes best because Mom told him they were very hard to find. Dad says they’re silly, that Tony’s too old to be playing with dolls, but they’re not dolls, they’re knights and if Steve builds castles, then he should like knights. Maybe.

At night, when Tony uses the lantern he built to stay awake under his covers and play, he wonders if Steve would find them silly. Steve doesn’t seem to care about what people find silly – Steve draws and reads a lot while other kids play ball, and Steve plays with Bucky and Arnie Roth ( _no one_ plays with Arnie Roth, because he is _weird_ in ways even adults frown at) - so Tony decides Steve would like his knights. Steve would listen with big wide blue eyes while Tony tells him the stories Jarvis told about the legends, but he’d like Tony’s ideas even better, the stories he himself made up. Dummy usually holds the other figures for Tony to play with – Tony likes Dummy a lot, but he thinks Steve would be more fun to play with, because Steve would draw Tony’s stories and smile at him and his hair would shine in the sun.

Steve spends a lot of time in the sun – his skin is pale, lighter than Tony’s, and it gets red easily and he frowns when Ms. Karen insists he needs to put more sunscreen on. Tony likes the way his nose scrunches; the way the red tinge touches cheeks; the way a few freckles show up on his face, like little dots of golden sand.

Steve likes recess time like everyone else, but he pays attention to all the classes. Tony sometimes finds it hard to pay attention to the classes, because he already knows everything and the teachers don’t like when he tells them so, so he prefers to pay attention to Steve. Steve asks a lot of questions and writes everything down on his notebook, and Tony likes the way he has all his pencils in an organized order.

Sometimes the other kids bump into Steve’s table to make his pencils fall off, but Steve doesn’t care. He just crouches to pick them up, and one time Tony helps him and he gives him a big, gap-toothed smile, and when Tony asks if the Tooth Fairy visited him recently, his smile grows and he doesn’t say Tony is silly for believing in fairies.

Tony likes Steve a lot (even more than he likes Dummy, though he doesn’t say that, because he wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings).

The only thing Tony doesn’t like about Steve is when he fights, and Steve fights a lot. He fights with everyone who messes with Bucky and Arnie. He fights with boys who pull girl’s braids. Sometimes he even fights with _the teachers_ , when they do something he doesn’t think is fair. His fights make Tony’s stomach clench, because Steve is the smallest kid in class and Tony worries he’s gonna get himself hurt.

Steve _never_ cries, which Tony thinks is awesome. Tony cries at least once per day, because he spilled his cereal, or because he doesn’t want to go to school and leave Dummy and U and Jarvis alone, or because everyone keeps being mean to C-3PO and he just wants to help. Dad _hates_ when he cries, because Stark men don’t cry. Tony tries his best to swallow the tears, but Jarvis says it’s okay when Dad is not listening, so he cries a lot on Jarvis’s shirt.

Steve, though – Steve doesn’t cry even when the other kids fight with him or when the teacher tells him to go to the corner. Steve is so cool, so brave. Sometimes, Tony thinks Steve would be a better Stark man than he is, but he doesn’t like to think that, because it makes him kind of angry at Steve. So instead he thinks Steve is like King Arthur, strong and courageous, but also good and kind, and he’d be able to wield Excalibur and let Tony be his friend like Lancelot was, even if Tony cried sometimes.

Once, Ty misses class, and so does Rhodey, and Tony has no one to play with at recess, so he wants to cry really hard. He tries to swallow it, blinks a lot to stop the tears from coming, and then the coolest thing in the world happens: Steve sits by his side and offers him a piece of his sandwich.

Steve’s sandwich tastes kind of weird. Steve explains that there’s a lot of stuff he can’t eat or he’ll get sick, and Tony lies a little and tells him it tastes great (Jarvis said a white lie is okay sometimes) and Steve gives him a _huge_ smile and they spend the whole half hour of recess together. Tony has a new three-dimensional puzzle to play with, and it’s pretty cool, but it’s even cooler because Steve helps him with it, and he smiles a lot and it’s the best recess ever, of all the history of recesses.

When the bell rings they’ve finished, and Steve is so fascinated by the puzzle, and Tony is so happy, that when Steve stands up to go to class his stomach clenches. He wants to be Steve’s friend _so_ bad, and Steve is so cool, and he is so not, that he doesn’t really think before asking if Steve wants to keep the puzzle.

Steve frowns, but his eyes widen and his cheeks flush. He holds it in his hands and tells Tony it’s not his birthday, but Tony says it’s ok, he has a lot of other ones and he thinks Steve should have this one because they did it together.

Steve looks at him for a long moment, his face flushes deeper and he asks Tony if he’s sure a hundred times before he finally accepts and takes it. He holds it carefully and his bright blue eyes find Tony’s when he says it’s the best gift he’s ever gotten and he’s gonna take very good care of it. _And then._

He kisses Tony’s cheek.

Tony’s face is so warm he thinks it might explode, and he feels like he floats on the way back to the classroom, where he spends all the time trying to not look at Steve and looking at Steve a lot when Steve can’t notice. He goes home and he tells everything to Jarvis and Dummy and U. Dummy and U beep a lot in excitement, but Jarvis makes a weird face, the same face he does when Tony told him he can’t cry because Dad told him not to, and it seems like he’s going to say something when Mom walks inside the room and holds Tony’s arm more strongly than she usually does.

She asks: _He did what?_

Tony tells her, and Jarvis seems even more worried, and he starts saying _Miss, perhaps it’s not…_ But Mom is already on her way downstairs, and that makes Tony’s stomach _really_ clench, a lot, because Dad is downstairs and they’re not supposed to ever, ever bother Dad while he’s working.

Jarvis does his best to distract Tony, caresses his hair, sits with Tony to watch TV, but Tony can hear screams coming from downstairs, stuff he doesn’t get about _fault_ and _perversion_ and _calling the school_ and Tony wants to cry, because he doesn’t get it, are they going to call the school? Did Tony do something wrong?

Jarvis makes an expression that makes Tony panic a little, because for a second it seems very sad in a way he’s never seen, but he ruffles Tony’s hair and says _No, Sir, you did nothing wrong_ and it calms Tony down a little.

The next day, though, Dad tells Tony in the morning that they need to talk later, and Tony must make a face, because Mom touches his arm and smiles gently and tells him it’s ok, Dad just wants to ask a few things.

Tony spends the entire day so nervous he might throw up, because Dad never asks him _anything._ He makes a list of things Dad might ask about, doing his best to think of good answers.

(At recess, Steve smiles at him and waves him over from the sandbox, but Tony just waves back and turns around and keeps playing with Ty.)

When he gets home, he gets even more nervous, because Jarvis is standing in the living room in front of Dad and he has red spots all over his face, and the only time Tony has ever seen him like that was when Tony ran away from him and got lost in the museum that one time.

Dad looks over at Tony and smiles, and Jarvis starts saying _Sir, I really don’t think there’s a need-_ but Dad immediately says _That’s enough_ and Jarvis opens and closes his mouth a lot of times but eventually gets out.

(He hugs Tony tight before leaving.)

Dad sits on the couch and pats the spot next to him, so Tony goes and sits by his side.

 _Sit up straight,_ Dad says, and Tony immediately straightens his posture, and Dad gives an approving nod and asks Tony who is Steve Rogers.

Tony tells Dad Steve is a kid from his class, and he’s super cool and smart and makes beautiful sandcastles. He tells Dad Steve draws a lot and doesn’t play ball with the other kids (Dad snorts at that, though Tony doesn’t really understand why). He finishes by saying Steve is his friend, like Ty and Rhodey (that’s another white lie, but Tony really wishes he were, so he thinks it’s okay).

Dad seems thoughtful for a moment. Then he lands his hand on Tony’s shoulder – Tony immediately flinches because he never does that, and his heart hammers nervously on his chest and he worries if maybe his posture is not good enough.

Then he starts talking.

He tells Tony Steve is not really Tony’s friend. That hurts, but Tony guesses it’s right, because Steve has no reason to want to be Tony’s friend when he could be friends with all the other cooler kids who play with him at the sandbox. Then he tells Tony Steve doesn’t have a dad at home, and that’s very sad, but that also means Steve doesn’t know how a real man should act. Steve, Dad says, is clearly a messed up kid, with bad inclinations, and he’s not a good influence to Tony and Tony shouldn’t be around him.

Tony wants to cry, but Dad hates when he cries, so instead he bites his lip and tries to tell Dad Steve is really brave, that he fights with lot of people, even bigger kids and the teachers. But Dad just scoffs.

 _That just means he’s not very smart._ Then he pokes Tony’s head, a little roughly, but affectionately, which makes Tony’s head spin, because he doesn’t think that has ever happened before. _Only stupid people pick fights they can’t win._

Tony had never thought it like that before. He’s not sure he gets it, but he nods, and Dad gives him a big approving grin, and that’s wonderful enough to make him feel a little better.

* * *

 

Tony never plays with Steve Rogers again. He ignores Steve every time he talks to him, and eventually he just stops trying entirely.

Tony doesn’t mind. When he feels like he should, he closes his eyes and remembers Dad’s words: Steve is weird. Steve is not really his friend. Steve is stupid. He closes his eyes and remembers and focuses on following Dad’s rules, being the man Dad wants him to be.

* * *

 

As time passes, Tony grows. As he grows, the world seems to grow around him, and the sandbox of kinder garden is slowly replaced by the full hallways of middle and high school. Tony’s voice changes; he starts getting annoying little bits of facial hair at random spots on his chin and cheeks; and his hair doesn’t fall over his eyes anymore, because he carefully styles it every morning with the most expensive hair gel money can buy.

He’s not the only one who changes: Bucky Barnes gets one hell of a growth spurt around fifth grade, starts going by James and casts a challenging furious gaze at anyone who so much glances wrong at his arm. Arnie Roth makes himself invisible and spends every moment inside the locker room staring very firmly at the floor, so as to not even risk someone thinking he’s sneaking a peek at their junk. Ty starts throwing many parties where Tony finds out girls like his new voice, and they don’t mind the taste of alcohol and cigarettes on his lips. It’s a new world now, and there’s a new set of rules. Everyone understands that.

The only person who doesn’t understand that is Steve Rogers, still scrawny and defiant, apparently missing the fact that now he’s not just the smallest kid on their grade, but the weakest guy of the entire school, who can barely handle a physical exam without an asthma attack. Steve still raises his voice to answer teachers when he disagrees with what they say, still uselessly tells people to leave Arnie alone, still prefers drawing to trying out for the football team.

As Tony masters the rules like nobody else, rising to a comfortable position on the unforgiving high school chain, he can’t help but watch how Steve falls into the sidelines, how girls don’t glance at his way, how people whisper the only reason James Barnes still hangs out with him must be because Steve probably sucks his dick. Tony watches how Steve sometimes shows up with a black eye, how he gets shoved into lockers, and a part of him desperately wants to grab him by the shoulders and asks why can’t he just _stop_ , why can’t he just accept the ways things are, why can’t he make a single attempt to make things easier for himself.

By now, Tony is sixteen, and he knows very well the reason Dad wanted Steve Rogers away from him had nothing to do with his attitude towards fights, but with the fact that he thought Steve was a faggot who’d turn his son towards his perverted ways. In a hilarious twist, Dad’s fears were completely correct, but it doesn’t matter because Tony, playing by the rules, only gets hand jobs from Ty and other guys behind closed doors, at parties where everyone is too high or drunk to care.

Steve, of course, can’t bring himself to do that. Steve needs to wear a rainbow button on his handbag; he needs to draw political cartoons for the school’s newspaper that get him sent to the principal; he needs to ask for the creation of a LGBT student union, on that damn school where Tony is pretty sure half the faculty doesn’t even know the meaning of each letter. And if it gets the shit kicked out of him by the end of P.E. class, he doesn’t seem to care, at least not enough to tone it down, to blend in, to do what every single other person does.

It’s been almost ten years, and Steve Rogers is still unlike anyone Tony has ever met.

* * *

 

It’s by coincidence, that Tony runs into Steve at Peggy Carter’s party.

At first Tony just stares, a little in shock. Steve is never invited to anything, but there he is, looking a bit awkward but excited. He’s wearing a black button-down, and Tony watches the way the dark lights hit his hair, how he looks down at his phone through long, golden eyelashes.

They bump into each other in front of the bathroom, Tony accidentally-on-purpose getting in the middle of Steve’s way, and he’s not even sure why he does that, because he and Steve don’t really speak anymore, but he can’t help but want to talk to him. There’s booze and weed going around, but nothing is as inebriating as Steve Rogers’ presence, and Tony bumps into him and starts babbling about something he doesn’t even know, maybe the music or the lights. Steve seems shocked, but he nods, and after a few moments of Tony’s awkward rambling he smiles, and it feels as blinding as it did under the sun during recess, so long ago. It burns, sending a scorching feeling down Tony’s throat, his heart hammering heavily on his chest.

They talk during most of the night, about innocuous things like Math class and the party and the terrible music playing. Steve is smart like he used to be; he’s surprisingly funny in a dry, deadpan way; and by two A.M. Tony’s mouth is just tingling, _itching_ to kiss him, to taste that shy grin, to roll that perfect lower lip of his between his teeth and suck it. He wants to bury his face on the curve of Steve’s neck and feel his smell, hold his body against his, make him gasp and shudder, and it would because okay because everyone is too high or drunk to care.

But the reason Tony knows for a fact Steve does not suck James Barnes’ dick is because if he did, Tony knows it wouldn’t be just that. If Steve was sucking a guy’s dick, he’d want to hold his hand in the hallways, to kiss him in the cafeteria, to be with him in front of God and everyone. Steve would want these things, because Steve doesn’t care about the world’s rules. Steve would want everything, and he’d deserve it. He’d deserve it all. He’d deserve every single thing Tony would have to give, and what he can give him right now is just too little. It’s too small, the way his heart weights on his chest because of Steve’s smile. It’s not enough.

When the clock hits 2:30, Steve needs to leave, and after he goes Tony makes out with Ty, heavily and roughly against the wall, with way too much teeth and tongue to be anything other than frenetic.

Of course, that turns out to be the first party where not _everyone_ is too high or drunk to care.  

* * *

 

By the time Tony gets to school on Monday, his life is over.

Well, not completely over, he guesses – the picture wasn’t clear enough to end up on gossip websites by the time Tony caught wind of it, and Instagram is too easy to hack, so every trace of it was gone off the internet an hour after Tony woke up on Sunday.

But not even Tony could hack every group text in school, which means that, from the first moment he steps inside the building, he can feel the looks and whispers behind his back. It was never a secret, but now it’s out in the open, and Tony’s stomach clenches in a way it rarely does when he’s not around his father anymore.

He tries to not freak out. It’s in the rules he knows so well: to pretend not to care is the way to be strong in this world. That’s why people who care all the time (people like Steve Rogers) get beaten down so much.

Ty, however, didn’t get the memo, so he absolutely freaks out, and, in an attempt to distance himself from the whispers, decides to start a fight with Tony in front of everyone else. He yells, calls Tony names, nearly implies that Tony took advantage of him or something. It stings, but Tony is a master of performance art by now, so he rolls his eyes and tries to keep walking, but Ty refuses to move and pushes him strongly against the lockers.

Then, in a second, there he is, fucking real-life King Arthur himself in all of his ninety-pounds glory: Steve gets all up on Ty’s face, telling him to back off, and of course Ty is not gonna back off from a kid who’s about a third of his size. His fist hits Steve right on the nose, and Steve is bleeding, and this is where all hell breaks loose, because Tony sees red and the next thing he knows, he and Ty are rolling on the floor trading punches, and Mr. Coulson steps in to break them apart.

They all get sent to the infirmary, then to the principal’s office, and, while pretending to listen to a lecture about the dangers of violence, the only thing Tony can think of is Steve: Steve stepping between him and Ty; Steve with blood all over his shirt; Steve being so, so stupid.

Afterwards, Tony sits on the bench waiting for Happy to arrive to pick him up, and Steve sits next to him and asks if he’s all right.

Tony asks if he’s an idiot.

Steve frowns, while holding an ice bag to his face, and Tony feels trapped in blue, drowning on it, unable to breathe. He brushes it aside, swims to the surface with nervous strides and puts his ferine tongue to good use, asking Steve what made him think that was _any_ of his business, why does he _always_ has to do this, why does he likes fighting _so much_.

Steve stares at him for a moment, and then he says: _I don’t like fighting._

There’s a beat in which Tony scoffs, and Steve just stares at him wide-eyed, as if he can’t believe Tony would ever think something like that.

Then he says: _I never throw the first punch. It’s not right._ He pauses, lips pressing together, and adds: _I don’t like fighting, but sometimes you have to. Especially when it’s something you care about._

Tony just freezes and stares at nothing for a moment.

 _Something you care about_ _._

Tony’s blood buzzes on his ears. Steve flushes, clasping his hands together and looking away. Tony can hardly breathe, and there’s no hope for him to reach the surface, now: He stares at Steve’s face and dives deep into blue, to never come back, his lungs feeling suffocated on his chest, dragged up and down by the relentless beat of his heart.

He tells himself that it’s not. It can’t be. It’s not that. It’s nothing.

(It’s everything.)

* * *

 

The world seems to shift a little after that, to change its center. It stretches at the sound of Steve’s voice, spinning in ellipses around his laugh, reflexing light in infinite blue sparks.

Tony musters the courage to ask Steve out a week after the world’s most ill timed confession, and Steve’s grin is worth every agonizing second he spent thinking about it for the past ten years.

They go to the museum, and Steve listens him talk endlessly about the science exhibit, as if he’s never heard anything more interesting. At the end, they stop by the bookstore, and Steve asks Tony if he likes Tolkien. Tony has never read him, and Steve gets incredibly excited talking about it, and in the middle of his babble Tony somehow manages to confess his obsession with the Arthurian mythos.

They end up exchanging books. They go out a few times just to read, at Steve’s place or at the park, and it’s great. They don’t kiss, but Steve leans into Tony’s side, a little, as if he’s looking for warmth. Tony lays an arm on his shoulders and pulls him close, and they end up pretty much cuddling on the bench. Steve’s body is warm and small and fits wonderfully in Tony’s arms, and a part of him doesn’t want to ever let him go.

Sometimes they go eat at Steve’s favorite pizza place, and it’s open 24 hours, so they stay there until very late, talking and laughing until they’re the only people in the restaurant. They don’t drink, but Tony feels drunk on Steve’s laugh and his smile, and, in an insane move, he tells him about how much he wanted that, how’s he been wanting this for so long.

Steve’s eyes are strangely bright when he asks: _How long?_

Tony smiles: _You have no idea._

A few weeks later, they’re on Steve’s bedroom, Steve sitting on his desk chair while Tony is sprawled up on his bed. Eventually Tony pulls Steve’s by his wrist and they maneuver themselves together, cuddling. They talk lazily, happiness spread in the air around them like golden dust, when Steve pulls away to say he needs to show Tony something.

He goes to his closet and returns with the tridimensional puzzle, face all flushed, mouth halfway through starting what Tony is pretty sure would be a beautiful romantic speech, but he doesn’t really hear it because the next thing he knows he’s pulling Steve by his shirt and kissing him harder than he’s ever kissed anyone on his life.

It gets easier every time, to hold Steve’s hand in the hallways, to kiss him before going to class. Steve says he doesn’t has to, it’s ok if he doesn’t want to, but Tony wants to. Tony finds that, between him and Steve, they can write a new set of rules, different from all the ones he’s learned before, and he prefers that a lot.

They’re lying on the beach one day when Steve lays his head on Tony’s chest and whispers: _You know, if I knew all it took to get you into me was getting punched, I’d have done it sooner_ _._

Tony laughs and leans over to kiss his freckles, stretching languidly on the beach towel and kicking off his shoes. The sand is prickly and perfect around his toes.

**Author's Note:**

> This was very fun to write. Felt like it could have gotten WAY angstier, but thankfully I reminded myself this is supposed to be a fluff challenge. Anyway. Thanks for reading! As always, I'd love to hear what you think. And, if you want to, you can find me at [my tumblr](http://elcorhamletlive.tumblr.com/).


End file.
